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LAMONT PURCHASES FERRIS WHEEL, PLANS TO OPEN TRAVELLING CARNIVAL
Photo by Frank Papp
BY CARLTON FORMAN
Get ready for cotton candy, ferris wheels, and mirror mazes! The carnival is coming to town!
After purchasing a 10-seat ferris wheel on the weekend, Kamloops entrepreneur/swimming pool repairman Shaun Lamont announced that he will be opening a brand new traveling carnival.
"We've got it all," crowed an exuberant Lamont, looking resplendent in an elegant black top hat. "Dunk tanks, carousels, even that swinging pirate ship thing that everyone loves." He proceeded to list other features the carnival would have, including a laser tag maze, a giant inflatable bear playpen, and a gladiatorial arena featuring nightly bouts between a hippo and a rhino.
Lamont was born in Kamloops but was kidnapped at an early age and raised by cougars in the arid hills surrounding the city. During this time he developed an terrible fear of dolphins, but at the same time, grew to wholeheartedly adore carnivals. The cougars were, understandably, quite baffled as to how this occurred. Sadly, they could not be reached for comment, as both died in 1997 when they were tragically killed in a freak wakeboarding accident.
Lamont admitted that his long-time dreams of building a wonderful roving fair had ground to a halt recently due to the lack of a ferris wheel.
"We had everything else, but we needed that ferris wheel. After all, who would come to a carnival that didn't have a ferris wheel? Losers, that's who.
"If you come to a carnival that doesn't have a ferris wheel, you are a certified wangdome," added Lamont vehemently while activating some laser tag guns for a group of children.
However, everything changed on Saturday, when Lamont spotted an online ad about a Garbrick Ferris Wheel for sale in Vernon for a mere $5,000. Moments later, he was on the phone finalizing the purchase of what he calls the "piece de resistance" of his carnival collection.
When asked how he was able to acquire the other various rides and attractions required for a carnival, Lamont explained that he bought most of them from West Edmonton Mall shortly after the city of Edmonton declared bankruptcy.
"It was a bad time for Edmonton," said Lamont. "It all started after the Oilers butchered their team by trading away their best players for essentially a bagel and a bag of rocks. The hockey team - no, the city - never really recovered after that. It was only a matter of time before the whole place shut down."
Not all of his rides came from the wasteland of northern Alberta, though. Lamont frequently attends fairs and carnivals across the country, and if any ride really impresses him, he buys it on the spot. One such ride is called "The Octopus," or as Lamont refers to it, "The Eight Arms of Death." Lamont paid $343,000 for the fearsome ride after seeing it in action at Lumby Days in June.
"You should have seen the Octopus at work!" recalled Lamont fondly. "It absolutely destroyed this one guy who was on it. His girlfriend was having a great time, but he looked like he was going to die. And that's the kind of ride I want in my carnival!"
At this point, one of the youths accidentally shot Lamont in the eye with a laser tag gun, who screamed and collapsed writhing on the ground. "My eye!! What have you done to my eye!?" he cried as the children ran off. A trio of nearby carnies, who would only identify themselves as Jenn, Airesse and Red Tide, rushed over and helped Lamont into his trailer.
The carnival is tentatively scheduled to open its gates September 31, 2007 in Kamloops. More information can be found on Lamont's website, www.icanbuyanything.ca.
[posted by Rades at 5:23 PM] LINK ||
Photo by Frank Papp
BY CARLTON FORMAN
Get ready for cotton candy, ferris wheels, and mirror mazes! The carnival is coming to town!
After purchasing a 10-seat ferris wheel on the weekend, Kamloops entrepreneur/swimming pool repairman Shaun Lamont announced that he will be opening a brand new traveling carnival.
"We've got it all," crowed an exuberant Lamont, looking resplendent in an elegant black top hat. "Dunk tanks, carousels, even that swinging pirate ship thing that everyone loves." He proceeded to list other features the carnival would have, including a laser tag maze, a giant inflatable bear playpen, and a gladiatorial arena featuring nightly bouts between a hippo and a rhino.
Lamont was born in Kamloops but was kidnapped at an early age and raised by cougars in the arid hills surrounding the city. During this time he developed an terrible fear of dolphins, but at the same time, grew to wholeheartedly adore carnivals. The cougars were, understandably, quite baffled as to how this occurred. Sadly, they could not be reached for comment, as both died in 1997 when they were tragically killed in a freak wakeboarding accident.
Lamont admitted that his long-time dreams of building a wonderful roving fair had ground to a halt recently due to the lack of a ferris wheel.
"We had everything else, but we needed that ferris wheel. After all, who would come to a carnival that didn't have a ferris wheel? Losers, that's who.
"If you come to a carnival that doesn't have a ferris wheel, you are a certified wangdome," added Lamont vehemently while activating some laser tag guns for a group of children.
However, everything changed on Saturday, when Lamont spotted an online ad about a Garbrick Ferris Wheel for sale in Vernon for a mere $5,000. Moments later, he was on the phone finalizing the purchase of what he calls the "piece de resistance" of his carnival collection.
When asked how he was able to acquire the other various rides and attractions required for a carnival, Lamont explained that he bought most of them from West Edmonton Mall shortly after the city of Edmonton declared bankruptcy.
"It was a bad time for Edmonton," said Lamont. "It all started after the Oilers butchered their team by trading away their best players for essentially a bagel and a bag of rocks. The hockey team - no, the city - never really recovered after that. It was only a matter of time before the whole place shut down."
Not all of his rides came from the wasteland of northern Alberta, though. Lamont frequently attends fairs and carnivals across the country, and if any ride really impresses him, he buys it on the spot. One such ride is called "The Octopus," or as Lamont refers to it, "The Eight Arms of Death." Lamont paid $343,000 for the fearsome ride after seeing it in action at Lumby Days in June.
"You should have seen the Octopus at work!" recalled Lamont fondly. "It absolutely destroyed this one guy who was on it. His girlfriend was having a great time, but he looked like he was going to die. And that's the kind of ride I want in my carnival!"
At this point, one of the youths accidentally shot Lamont in the eye with a laser tag gun, who screamed and collapsed writhing on the ground. "My eye!! What have you done to my eye!?" he cried as the children ran off. A trio of nearby carnies, who would only identify themselves as Jenn, Airesse and Red Tide, rushed over and helped Lamont into his trailer.
The carnival is tentatively scheduled to open its gates September 31, 2007 in Kamloops. More information can be found on Lamont's website, www.icanbuyanything.ca.
[posted by Rades at 5:23 PM] LINK ||