Old Archives (before 2005)
Search Engine Hall of Fame
transformers whos side are you on octopus or megatron
PAPELBON'S GIRLFRIEND
cane toad cannons
rhino vs hippo video
You're fucking infuriating about me.
TELUS sweatshops
stomping cane toads
dirt on trevor linden
Gangsta Rap baseball cap pictures
jim rome lunch with the monkey
what is pirateism
trevor linden has a girlfriend?
what is the name of old movie where the midas touch turns everything to shit
"fat cat falling"
why do geriatric cats moan?
wolfpack gangsta rap group
PICTURES OF CANE TOADS WITH KIDS
fight, rhino, hippo
"Monkey in a Wagon Versus Lemur on a Big Wheel"
rhino vs hippo
Presenting! The first ever Overly Huge Yearly Excellence And Hilarity! awards! That's right, it's the OH YEAH! awards!
Best Band "Hiatus"
Blink 182 calls it quits. Which is sad, but judging from their fanbase - which started as punk kids but gradually became emo good-charlotte-ite whiners - it was about time. Travis Barker had a kid in December, he and Mark Hoppus are in a new band called Plus-44, and Tom Lelonge is in a new group called Angels and Airwaves.
Best Pet
Dopus, the geriatric cat owned by Shaun's aunt, who would sit around and moan and yowl all day, and randomly shit and puke all over the floor. (The cat, not the aunt.)
Best movie title of a movie I have not seen
Frankenfish
(honorary mention: Wizard of Gore)
Best use of knees as an offensive weapon
Ong-Bak (also known as Gak-Bong and Bog-Nag)
Best use of a website to promote a movie
The Wedding Crashers. This could have been the worst movie in the world and it would still be awesome, due to the fact you could go to the webpage and insert photos of yourself or friends into the trailer, and then email it around.
Best use of $1,781.00 USD
Buying the Wendy's Ranch Tooth on ebay.
Best Going-Away Present
A life-sized cardboard Geordi LaForge.
Best CG-animated movie
Final Fantasy: Advent Children.
Best Fluke Find
Finding the Morning Star job, applying the day of the deadline, and getting it.
(honorary mentions: Dane Cook; The Job feat. Denis Leary)
Most disappointing gaming news
The delay of the release of Kingdom Hearts 2 from December 2005 to like, September 2006.
(honorary mention: Microsoft shipping out far too few XBOX systems...again.)
Most Epic Battle
Hippo versus Rhino.
(honorary mentions: Monkey in a Wagon versus Lemur on a Big Wheel; Monster in a Wheelchair)
Most unnecessary real life movie adaptation
The runaway bride story of Jennifer Wilbanks. I can sum up the movie in three steps.
1. She's engaged
2. She runs away
3. WOW EXCITING LET'S MAKE A MOVIE, THE END
Most Baffling Inner-City Forest Appearance
Assault on Precinct 13.
Most "holy crap I'm sick of hearing about these people" person
Terri Schiavo.
(honorary mentions: Tom Cruise, but that's a given; Cindy Sheehan; Steve Moore; The Black Eyed Peas; Kevin Federline; Ashlee Simpson)
Most Significant Death
Hunter S. Thompson died on February 20, 2005. That made me very sad. Though at least he had his ashes shot out of a cannon, which is awesome. Besides being the source of some great reading and great movies, Thompson is also one of the three people that Frank Papp is modeled after.
(honorary mention: Esther the Frigid Bitch)
Most Embarrassing Sports Injury
This honor goes to shortstop Clint Barmes, who fell down some stairs at home while carrying some deer meat. "I figured, I'm an athlete, I can walk up the stairs, it's not that big a deal," said Barmes, who said he got tired of waiting for the elevator.
Most Disappointing Movie
A History of Violence.
(honorary mentions: The Chronicles of Narnia; Serenity)
Most Invincible Movie Actor
LL Cool J.
Most Highly Anticipated Blog Creation
jenninerd.blogspot.com
Most ominous news headline
THE SPECIAL TONIGHT IS ASS
(honorary mention: ALLERGY ALERT - Undeclared nuts in COCK)
Most Confusing Nickname
Michael Buble.
(honorary mention: King Buffalo)
Worst idea by Nintendo ever
The TV-remote-shaped controller for their upcoming system. SO BAD.
Worst Sports Story
The NHL Lockout.
Worst New Team Name
The TRU Wolfpack.
Worst New Team Colors
The TRU Wolfpack.
And finally, the best news stories I posted links to
Monkeys get wasted off booze made from marijuana and swarm village
Ahahahahahahahaha
Exploding toads baffle scientists
Pond named "The Death Pool" by tabloids. And crows are to blame!
School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon
"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.
India chews over horny problem of holy cows
"Meanwhile, the city is also infested with thousands of monkeys blamed for attacking people and stealing medicine from hospitals and files from government offices."
Introducing WhirlyBall, the sport of drunks.
It's like Lacrosse, only you play drunk. On bumper cars. That don't have steering wheels.
The Erotic Bakery
"So what kind of cake should we get for Jimmy's birthday? Fruit cake? Chocolate cake? Or how about a cake shaped like a giant pair of breasts?"
A cow has eaten my ipod and I want to go back and punch it in the face
"I was about to run after it but was held back by the attractive female for fear that I would cause a stampede and be crushed by cows and bulls with big pointy horns."
The special tonight is ass
HEADLINE OF THE YEAR
Kids smoking cane toads
"Children as young as 12 are licking cane toads in an attempt to get high, but all they face is an agonising death."
Man found driving ambulance with dead deer
Not only did this guy escape from somewhere, but he a) found an ambulance! and b) somehow picked up a DEAD DEER
Mayor bans death
There's no more room to bury the dead, they can't be cremated and laws forbid a new cemetery. So the mayor has proposed a solution: outlaw death.
[posted by Rades at 5:15 PM] LINK ||
Best Band "Hiatus"
Blink 182 calls it quits. Which is sad, but judging from their fanbase - which started as punk kids but gradually became emo good-charlotte-ite whiners - it was about time. Travis Barker had a kid in December, he and Mark Hoppus are in a new band called Plus-44, and Tom Lelonge is in a new group called Angels and Airwaves.
Best Pet
Dopus, the geriatric cat owned by Shaun's aunt, who would sit around and moan and yowl all day, and randomly shit and puke all over the floor. (The cat, not the aunt.)
Best movie title of a movie I have not seen
Frankenfish
(honorary mention: Wizard of Gore)
Best use of knees as an offensive weapon
Ong-Bak (also known as Gak-Bong and Bog-Nag)
Best use of a website to promote a movie
The Wedding Crashers. This could have been the worst movie in the world and it would still be awesome, due to the fact you could go to the webpage and insert photos of yourself or friends into the trailer, and then email it around.
Best use of $1,781.00 USD
Buying the Wendy's Ranch Tooth on ebay.
Best Going-Away Present
A life-sized cardboard Geordi LaForge.
Best CG-animated movie
Final Fantasy: Advent Children.
Best Fluke Find
Finding the Morning Star job, applying the day of the deadline, and getting it.
(honorary mentions: Dane Cook; The Job feat. Denis Leary)
Most disappointing gaming news
The delay of the release of Kingdom Hearts 2 from December 2005 to like, September 2006.
(honorary mention: Microsoft shipping out far too few XBOX systems...again.)
Most Epic Battle
Hippo versus Rhino.
(honorary mentions: Monkey in a Wagon versus Lemur on a Big Wheel; Monster in a Wheelchair)
Most unnecessary real life movie adaptation
The runaway bride story of Jennifer Wilbanks. I can sum up the movie in three steps.
1. She's engaged
2. She runs away
3. WOW EXCITING LET'S MAKE A MOVIE, THE END
Most Baffling Inner-City Forest Appearance
Assault on Precinct 13.
Most "holy crap I'm sick of hearing about these people" person
Terri Schiavo.
(honorary mentions: Tom Cruise, but that's a given; Cindy Sheehan; Steve Moore; The Black Eyed Peas; Kevin Federline; Ashlee Simpson)
Most Significant Death
Hunter S. Thompson died on February 20, 2005. That made me very sad. Though at least he had his ashes shot out of a cannon, which is awesome. Besides being the source of some great reading and great movies, Thompson is also one of the three people that Frank Papp is modeled after.
(honorary mention: Esther the Frigid Bitch)
Most Embarrassing Sports Injury
This honor goes to shortstop Clint Barmes, who fell down some stairs at home while carrying some deer meat. "I figured, I'm an athlete, I can walk up the stairs, it's not that big a deal," said Barmes, who said he got tired of waiting for the elevator.
Most Disappointing Movie
A History of Violence.
(honorary mentions: The Chronicles of Narnia; Serenity)
Most Invincible Movie Actor
LL Cool J.
Most Highly Anticipated Blog Creation
jenninerd.blogspot.com
Most ominous news headline
THE SPECIAL TONIGHT IS ASS
(honorary mention: ALLERGY ALERT - Undeclared nuts in COCK)
Most Confusing Nickname
Michael Buble.
(honorary mention: King Buffalo)
Worst idea by Nintendo ever
The TV-remote-shaped controller for their upcoming system. SO BAD.
Worst Sports Story
The NHL Lockout.
Worst New Team Name
The TRU Wolfpack.
Worst New Team Colors
The TRU Wolfpack.
And finally, the best news stories I posted links to
Monkeys get wasted off booze made from marijuana and swarm village
Ahahahahahahahaha
Exploding toads baffle scientists
Pond named "The Death Pool" by tabloids. And crows are to blame!
School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon
"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.
India chews over horny problem of holy cows
"Meanwhile, the city is also infested with thousands of monkeys blamed for attacking people and stealing medicine from hospitals and files from government offices."
Introducing WhirlyBall, the sport of drunks.
It's like Lacrosse, only you play drunk. On bumper cars. That don't have steering wheels.
The Erotic Bakery
"So what kind of cake should we get for Jimmy's birthday? Fruit cake? Chocolate cake? Or how about a cake shaped like a giant pair of breasts?"
A cow has eaten my ipod and I want to go back and punch it in the face
"I was about to run after it but was held back by the attractive female for fear that I would cause a stampede and be crushed by cows and bulls with big pointy horns."
The special tonight is ass
HEADLINE OF THE YEAR
Kids smoking cane toads
"Children as young as 12 are licking cane toads in an attempt to get high, but all they face is an agonising death."
Man found driving ambulance with dead deer
Not only did this guy escape from somewhere, but he a) found an ambulance! and b) somehow picked up a DEAD DEER
Mayor bans death
There's no more room to bury the dead, they can't be cremated and laws forbid a new cemetery. So the mayor has proposed a solution: outlaw death.
[posted by Rades at 5:15 PM] LINK ||