Friday, July 22, 2005
:: Tips for aspiring Journalists, PART DEUX ::

Once again, I present to you today some helpful tips for people who wish to become members of a small community newspaper, as learned by me through various experiences that have arisen at work. This edition deals with the position of Front Desk/Customer Service secretary-ish person.

TIP #1: SIMMER DOWN
Something that doesn't do much to extend the duration of your employment is being in a state of continual rage. Especially when you are the one who deals with all the customers, complaints, and questions at the front desk. If someone comes in saying "I didn't receive my newspaper this week" the correct answer is to offer a new one, and offer to try and remedy this situation and find out what went wrong. The incorrect response is staring at them and saying "Oh. Well it's not my fault" or "Well what do you want me to do about it? *stinkeye*"

TIP #2: THE TRASH CAN DOES NOT MAGICALLY DO YOUR WORK
During the 3-4 weeks of this person's tenure here, there were various tasks in which she (and ONLY she) was supposed to do - billing, filing of bills, taking subscription orders. This kind of thing. As the weeks went by, we got more and more complaints from angry, and more often than not, completely baffled clients or customers. What we discovered after The Firing was that these tasks were not done. I'm not talking "not done well" or "done incorrectly" but completely fucking ignored. After much digging and poking around, Wanda began finding bills and forms that were supposed to have been filled out, stuffed in random places - filing cabinets, in stacks of old newspapers, in random drawers in the bathroom. I don't understand how The Monster could have possibly thought she'd get away with this, but it's taken a good 2 months to finally get things sorted out. I'm just glad I didn't have to deal with any of it.

TIP #3: DON'T STEAL MONEY
Pretty self-explanatory.

TIP #4: DON'T GET KICKED OUT BY YOUR LIVE-IN BOYFRIEND, THEN BREAK BACK INTO HIS HOUSE DURING THE DAY WHILE HE IS AT WORK AND STEAL EVERYTHING HE OWNS, AND THEN TAKE OFF AND BECAME A HUNTED FUGITIVE OF THE LAW
Because we're a newspaper. We will find out and when we do, we will laugh quite enthusiastically at your stupidity.


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