Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Honestly, some people are just idiots.

So it's our responsibility to make fun of them!

Back when Gmail was just starting up, and invites to open accounts were rare and much sought-after, I devoted myself to snagging as many names as I possibly could, partially because I wanted to piss people off who wanted those email names later, and partially cause well, I'm kind of a geek that way.

Anyways, I never use gmail, but to keep the accounts active I log in every month or two. On most of the accounts there's nothing new or just the odd spam message, but on some of the email accounts (the ones based from common words/names) I get the oddest messages. I get actual emails from people who think they're emailing their friends. I'm not sure how they got my email address to use, or if said friend gave them the wrong address, or what, but I find these unintention glimpses into strangers' lives oddly amusing.

The following is some of my email accounts (just the first part of the name) and emails I've gotten. My comments, if any, are in red.

thirteen
  • Apr. 25, 2005: "Demo CD" from hxcjay
    I want one of your guys demos. What I do to get one?

calgaryflames
  • Dome Hockey - Dec. 9, 2004 from spookies
    Hey you's guys!

    I know it's a long time coming but we have finally come upon some Dome
    hockey time - the 21st of December at 9:15pm to 10:30pm. This was the ONLY
    time available.

    There is an $8.00 fee that I will need to collect from you by Dec 14th. If
    there are not enough players to play, the ice will unfortunately be
    cancelled.

    Overall, thirty-five people have been contacted... 'first come first
    served'. So let me know ASAP.

    See you soon!

    Grizz
    Re: Dome Hockey - Dec. 10, 2004 from David Imbach
    hey Grizz,

    Thanks for getting this organized, just one question....If you sent the
    email to us why did you cc yourself?? I am fighting sloan this time.

    Dave
    Re: Dome Hockey - Dec. 10, 2004 from Matt Holmes
    Hey Grizz,

    Thanks for the invite, but it looks like I'm out until the summer. It's
    coming along, but very, very slowly. But when I come back, watch out!

    Later
    Re: Dome Hockey - Dec. 15, 2004 from spookies
    Hey boys,

    Here are the confirmations...

    Mel, Doug, Jamie, Ritchie Rich, Bill, Gordie (paid), Colin, Wade, Stevie
    Strach, Steve Johnson, Dave, Mitch, Cam, Chris D, Tim Webber (paid), Karl
    (paid), Scottie (paid), Jody, Andy, Rick, Carlo, Robbie K., Teddy B., Dan
    Cezar,.

    Others lie in the balance. I'll need the funds by Friday guys!

    Rick
    Re: Dome Hockey - Dec. 16, 2004 from spookies
    Hello Gents,

    To those of us who have not antied up, I'll see you on Tuesday night. We'll
    settle then. Looking forward to seeing all of you there.

    Rick
    Re: Dome Hockey - Dec. 20, 2004 from spookies
    Hey Boys,

    Just A reminder... hockey tomorrow night.(Dec., 21) 9:15pm - 10:30pm. Be
    early to suit up! You will be seeing some new faces. Teddy's bringing out
    the tubes! Bees, not that aluminum piece of crap you love to cross check
    with. Steve will be out to keep you in line. Mitch, We'll try to swing by to
    get you. Do you need anything... pads, mask etc... It's not to likely that
    you'll face to much rubber... I take that back, Ted's your D-man. Dave,
    please contact Colin, and Wade and Jody. $8.00 will be collected BEFORE YOU
    PLAY!!! Those of you who have paid... good on ya. It's gonna be a good
    time... So, please reconfirm so that I can set up the teams! See you
    tomorrow night!

    R

    P.S... If there is any interest, Ronnie would be available to shoot the
    event for a small fee.($5) LMK and I'll let him know if his services are
    needed.
    Re: Dome Hockey - Dec. 20, 2004 from Jamie Ross
    I'll show up, just so I can kick the butcher's ass. A little payback for
    basketball!!!!
    Jamie

    Despite the fact I never answered this group of people, I kept getting emailed as one of their friends. I wonder how I even got onto their list of emails in the first place?

pineapple
  • Your Gmail account, bachang@gmail.com, has been created - May 6, 2005 from Gmail Team
    Congratulations on creating your brand new Gmail account, bachang@gmail.com.
    Please keep this email for your records, as it contains an
    important verification code that you may need should you ever
    encounter problems or forget your password.

    ...what the hell? Haha, if you're making an email account and it asks for a secondary email, don't put a random email...cause if it's actually the email of someone like me, it lets them reset your password. It appears bachang is the email address of some kind of homemade dumpling company. How that matches with "pineapple" is beyond me, but whatever...

outside
  • new e-mail - July 1, 2004 from Adam Gaspar
    Wow your special

freeze
  • FYP REport - Feb 26, 2005 from Torn Apart.....
    hi, please check out the report that i've attached for you. the other report is a sample report for your viewing. please complete those that are in blue font. you need not bother about the screen shots. after you complete the report please bring it to school and merge with the original copy that is with serleng. just copy what you have typed over into her copy because i have deleted the screen shots to make the file smaller and easier to send to you.

    cheerio

    amanda

    The documents were some kind of tourism guide plan for guided tours of Singapore.


  • Your Gmail account, freezebe@gmail.com, has been created - Feb. 27, 2005 from Gmail Team
    Congratulations on creating your brand new Gmail account, freezebe@gmail.com.
    Please keep this email for your records, as it contains an
    important verification code that you may need should you ever
    encounter problems or forget your password.

    ...again? What is with these people?? Since they were clogging my inbox with their stupid account sign-ups, I once again reset their password and took a look. The account was all in Spanish, and there were only two emails, both of which had no text but just a picture each: Picture 1, Picture 2.


  • Woof! - Apr. 25, 2005 from Vito's Tail
    If this makes no sense to you, sorry, this got to you by mistake.

    If it makes some sense, dogs need email too. Use me, if you've got
    something to say...


  • (no subject) - May 16, 2005 from Vadim Voronchin
    9) -1-m=0
    -m=1
    m=1

    This was four digital pictures of someone's Math homework.

lightning
  • My Gmail!!!! - Jan. 6, 2005 from neophyte13
    Hey Jason,

    This is my gmail account...

dammit
  • print again? - July 26, 2004 - from Christian Tomsey
    Can you print these again, and do you think you could xerox copy/paste
    my signature from one of the others onto the printouts? I'm running
    out of time for these stupid errors I'm making.

    I had the dates wrong. Dammit.

    There were four resumes attached, from this Christian person in Milwaukee, WI.


  • yo - Feb. 10, 2005 from misledyouthn@comcast.net
    you are a hard person to find, hope u dont mind me emailin you

    Nate


  • Hi! - Apr. 16, 2005 from Susan Yap
    Hi Liani,
    How is it going for you two over there? Is the weather cold or just a
    little chilly? Guess, Donna would have taken lots of shots with her
    new camera. Didnt think you- Liani will do that as I understand that
    the first few weeks of your trip are places which you have visited before.

    Did you get to see good movies on your flight? How was it for you
    Donna, considering you have been overseas since your Bali trips.

    Hope you both have a wonderful time.

    cheers,
    Susan.

journalism
  • my work - Apr. 18, 2005 - Abdelfatah Montasser
    (no text, three files attached)

    These appeared to be writing samples. One was a column called "Ask Abdel," another was a "Top 5 Songs" list, and the last was a "Top 10 Movies" list. The writing was sub-par at best.


  • (no subject) - May 17, 2005 - from Sarah Harazi
    my murder story (file attached)

    Click here to read Sarah's story.

    • Now this is odd. It seems someone has told people that this was an email address for them to submit their work, or something? And the emails are recent, too. I think I will respond to these ones...

rejected
  • from amy - Mar. 1, 2005 - StartingaNewPast
    Wesley,
    I’m sorry that I told Natasha what I told her. We were just joking about everything and then… it got serious all of the sudden and I don’t know how. I didn’t mean to make anyone mad or upset. We started off saying that you had sex w/ puppies… and all the sudden things were really really serious and she was really upset. From now on, I’m just not going to tell or mention to ANYONE anything about you and I. I look at you as a big brother now. I know that’s weird but that’s how I look at you. I look to you for like… support and friendship. I know that if I need you you’re there. I told Natasha that was where you and I made our mistake. We’re meant to be really good friends. I try to tell her all the time that you mean a lot to him because of all the things you do for her. I don’t know what to do. I think she needs to feel more comfortable about sharing her feelings and you need to be more open to listening and helping and responding instead of yelling like you tend to do. I know its who you are but… it still hurts her. It’s hard being so close to Natasha and knowing a lot about you without revealing or saying things that might bother her or make you angry. I’m not sure what this means. This is the last thing that I wanted to happen. I’ve tried to stay out of shit between ya’ll because I know that it could cause a lot of problems in the house. I want Natasha to be able to trust me and I want you to not be angry with me. That’s a hard balance to keep. I’m trying to maintain it though. You allowing me to move in was a brave move that means the world to me. I truly don’t know how I’ll ever be able to repay the two of you. I know I’m really young and still very immature but I’m trying to be as mature as absolutely possible. Wesley, I love you and Natasha very much in a family kind of way. I hope that you can grow to understand where she is coming from and she you because if not, the relationship the two ofyou have could easily come to an end. I know you care about her a lot because I see the things you do for her that you normally wouldn’t do. I know she cares about you a lot because I see how excited she gets about the thought of mention of you. The two of you have what counts where it matters…. Now you have to work at what counts where it will make or break you. The choice is yours. I hope that you can find the balance and I hope that we, as roommates, can find the balance we all need. I’m sorry for any problems and I really hope you can forgive me for saying things that I know I shouldn’t have. Please don’t be angry with each other. Natasha, Wesley forgets things and doesn’t mean to lie. Even when he holds back the truth, its so that it doesn’t hurt YOU. Its so that the two of you can pursue the happiness and possibilities you deserve without the past interrupting that. Westley, Natasha’s a girl. Things matter to her that don’t matter to you as a guy.
    I hope you two can understand that.
    Sorry again
    Love,
    amy

    ...poor Wesley. He never got this long, heartfelt, emotional letter. Sorry bout your luck, Wes! Guess you shouldn't have had sex with puppies. (Man, I'm hoping that was just a joke.)
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SOLAR DEATH RAY!
Solar destructive power! Man you gotta love science.


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