Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Over the weekend, I went to Calgary to pick up Guild Wars, a new game and excuse to waste my time. While I was in town I went to Chapters to see if they had the latest and final book in a series I'm reading. They did, but I decided to browse around and spend some money on books I had, until that point, never had any intention of purchasing.

First off, I'm not sure when I missed the memo on this, but apparently Chapters is the new home of the literary ninja. In the sports bin, of which there's like, 15, 20 books, there were SIX books dedicated to Ninjas, Ninja Assassins, Ninja Mind Tricks, etc etc. I opened the assassin book and it had fighting techniques, like what to do when someone attacks you with a sword, or how to kill a diplomat with a crossbow, that kind of thing - complete with little cartoony diagrams. I'm not really sure if it was one of the joke books or if it was actually trying to be serious.

The Jose Canseco biography/crazy drug rant caused a lot of fuss in baseball news, so I'd been interested in sometime checking that out. But then I saw it on the shelf, and saw its actual name: Juiced

Yep, you guessed it.

I GOT JUICED. [end joke that will make sense to only like three people]

I haven't gotten very far in it yet, but I will say this. I made it one page before I was cracking up. ONE PAGE.

Speaking of baseball, my team performed like ass last week, and I dropped from 2nd to 3rd in our Fantasy Baseball Pool. The only good thing about the week was that Nick's team did even worse, and dropped from 6th to 9th. Ah, Nick. When I fail, you're always there to fail just a little more.

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Pa. Eatery Offers New 15-Pound Burger
"It's like trying to eat half a cow."

India chews over horny problem of holy cows
"Meanwhile, the city is also infested with thousands of monkeys blamed for attacking people and stealing medicine from hospitals and files from government offices."

School Mistakes Huge Burrito for a Weapon
"I didn't know whether to laugh or cry," school Principal Diana Russell said.


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