Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Sometime down the line I am going to change my name to MIKEA. For that is truly my truest goal in life - to serve as a low-cost "stylish" outlet with merchandise bearing hideously ridiculous names.

My most agonizing Ikea moment came when my cousin and I saw a lamp called NOT. This in itself is not so bad. It is the sign that proclaimed (and I quote) "NOT $20"

Me: "Hey look, how much is that lamp?"
Chris: "Well it's.......NOT $20...? What the hell?!"

In MIKEA, the store of the future (for robots), you will be able to get it all. Need a lampshade? Try the deluxe TUNAWINDSHIELD model! A bedsheet? Clearly you need to get our ZAMZAMMAMA set. Or maybe the PYUOALISDAMANETISAWIQUIDEL? It's a bowl.

Has anyone else besides me noticed that Simple Plan's latest song, "Shut Up," sounds exactly like the 54-40 song "Casual Viewing"? Also, why the hell am I recognizing 54-40 songs? Just now, I couldn't even remember the band name. All I could think of was WD-40.


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