Sunday, January 23, 2005
I just found a hilarious daily-deco-like online site called Smooth Operator. Here's an excerpt from one of its articles, whose headline is "Stranded man survives off of toner and ink cartridges".

After thirty hours trapped in the woods, local authorities located Doug, who was now naked and performing a medley of Celine Deon hits. He was arrested for illegal dumping of hazardous materials and taken to the local police station where he was placed in a feecees covered room and denied any bathroom privileges. He died shortly afterward, presumably from either consuming all the toner and ink or from the escaped circus tiger that had accidentally been placed in the room with him.

"Doug had a blood-toner level of .3," said Officer Dan Shepard. "This is over three times the legal limit and twice what we use to put down rogue Gorillas. He was also eaten by a tiger, which could have been a factor in his death as well."


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